(no subject)

[annapeace.livejournal.com]

Title: Worth It
Rating: G
Characters: David Lee, Ryan Abbott, etc.
Summary: Three Rivers ship and I ain't even sorry.

--

David liked Miranda Foster, but not quite in the way everyone thought he did. She was definitely a challenge - when they were introduced, she had rolled her eyes and muttered something to the effect of “hope you’re not as dumb as you are pretty.”

David spent the first year of his residency trying to get her to admit that she’d once called him pretty. She never did, but he did get her grudging respect, which was infinitely more valuable. It took a lot of work to maintain their tentative colleague-friendship, but David felt it was worth it. It was good to have a friend like Miranda in the world he’d chosen to inhabit.

(But the hospital staff had an ongoing pot on whether he’d give up before she caved, so David continued to glibly proposition her every chance he got because if he surprised a yes out of her he stood to win a few thousand dollars.)

—

Ryan shouldn’t even have been a blip on David’s radar. He was young, cute and enthusiastic…like a puppy. And if David had wanted a puppy, he would have gotten a puppy. Plus, it wasn’t like David didn’t have a bevy of nurses whom he didn’t directly work with at his beck and call.

But on that very first day, when the procurement seemed to be falling through, David found Ryan on his radar. With his hand on Ryan’s chest, his face inches from Ryan’s, looking into Ryan’s desperate, frustrated eyes, David had felt bad for the kid. He knew what it was like to have a very stressful first day, to want to prove yourself while lives are hanging in the balance.

He’d also felt extreme, undeniable attraction.

David wanted to chalk it up to one of those ‘heat of the moment’ things, but the attraction lasted. It was there every time Ryan scowled at him for putting in an specifically weird food order, every time Ryan pouted at his success with the nurses. It was there every time he came out of surgery to see Ryan beaming at him from across the room.

It was starting to become a problem.

—

Prior to getting his job at Three Rivers, Ryan Abbott had zero experience with hospitals. Clinics, sure. He’d gone to those for his checkups, the occasional vaccination and that time he’d gotten food poisoning. Clinics were quiet, office-like places where doctors never yelled and nurses mostly sat.

Then he’d gotten the job at Three Rivers. Technically, he was supposed to be the assistant to the transplant coordinator, a job he wasn’t actually qualified for - he may have exaggerated the details of his crash course in basic medical training - but the woman who had hired him had assured him he could handle it.

Of course she had then quit her job, kicking Ryan out of the frying pan and into the fire. But he didn’t mind too much. He thrived when the pressure was on, and working in a hospital was infinitely more interesting than working in the news room. It was all the blood and guts he’d hoped to see as a reporter, but under the umbrella of helping people and saving lives.

Ryan still wasn’t sure if he was going to make this his career, but at least he was doing some good while he figured it out.

—

“How do you, you know,” Ryan gestured up and down disgustedly at Dr. David Lee, his personal antagonist and resident food weirdo. “…look like an underwear model when you eat crap like cheesesteak fries all the time?”

“Okay, first of all let’s make this clear: cheesesteak fries are not crap. They are god’s gift to our taste buds.” David took a huge bite of his sandwich and chewed smugly. He was preening a bit, but Ryan let that go. He’d called the man an underwear model after all.

“And I have excellent genes.”

That just didn’t seem fair. David was already blessed with what Ryan considered the trifecta for an easy life: riches, good looks and intelligence. The fact that he was also charming was already overkill. And now it seemed like the guy who regularly scarfed down bacon cronuts for breakfast maintained his six-pack effortlessly.

Ryan stabbed at his pasta. He’d never been able to put on muscle no matter what he did. It wasn’t that he wanted to be huge; he just thought it was high time he stopped looking like a gawky teenager.

“If you ever feel like joining me for a workout though, let me know. We’ll have you looking like a real grown up in no time.”

Ryan scowled and David laughed.

“Dr. Lee, Mr. Jacobs in 210 needs you,” Pam called over sweetly, waving a patient file in their direction. David exaggerated a sigh and left the remains of his lunch at his work station.

“Slave driver,” he accused, taking the file as he passed by Pam. Pam just smiled, then winked at Ryan. Ryan grinned back. Pam was like the kind older sister he’d never had but always wanted. (His real older sisters tended to run roughshod over him every time he went back home to visit.)

—

“And what have we learned?”

“I have to actually talk,” Ryan sighed morosely. “Make conversation, so I don’t look like a big stinking bottom-feeding idiot.”

He glared crossly at David, who was happily chowing down on the cinnamon roll Ryan had given to him as thanks. Even though the whole thing had crashed and burned, David had tried to help, and he hadn’t actively made fun of Ryan for nearly two weeks now.

Small victories, Ryan thought as he bit savagely into the lobster roll Alicia had rejected.


“This is really good,” Ryan grudgingly conceded.

“Of course it is. You gotta trust me on all things food. I have a very refined palate.”

This much was true. In addition to being a gourmand of weird food - some of which Ryan had tried and been surprised by good they really were - David always knew which places served the best versions of everything.

“You should start a food blog. Put all that knowledge to good use, educate the masses on cinnamon chili dogs.”

“I think I’m busy enough being a doctor,” David said dryly. “Besides, creative writing isn’t really my strong point.”

“Oh my god, is the great Dr. Lee admitting he’s not good at something?”

David shrugged him off without bothering to reply, and Ryan grinned. They ate in silence for a few moments, then Ryan cleared his throat.

“Maybe we can work on something together. I need to get back into writing anyway. A blog would be an easy way to start.”

David gave him a long, considering look. “Yeah, maybe.”

Ryan was more pleased by that response than he could explain why.

—

“Don’t get too attached, sweetheart.”

“Huh?” Ryan looked up to see Pam standing over his work station. Pam cocked her head towards the hall, where David was chatting with a nurse, then looked at Ryan meaningfully. Ryan felt his face heat up, but returned the look staunchly. “What? It’s not a crime to look around the room, I was just resting my eyes.”

“Yes, and Dr. Sleeps-around is a very nice place to rest the eyes. But you know how he is.”

“Pam, I’m not even…I don’t even…” Ryan scoffed, but trailed off. The truth was, he had no idea what was going on. Ryan had never really entertained the idea of being with other men. There were a few times back in college when he gave it some fleeting consideration, but he’d chalked it up to being young and drunk, and nothing had ever come of it. And besides, he really was into women.

But there was just something about David. He exuded this casual confidence, this quiet allure, that Ryan found incredibly attractive. (And to be honest, the underwear model body didn’t hurt either.) At first he thought he was just envious of the doctor…and then he realized he was actually jealous of the nurses David bestowed his favors upon. Ryan wasn’t sure he was ready to deal with the implications of that yet.

“Hey, I’m not here to judge,” Pam said kindly. “I’m only saying, don’t get too attached. David’s a great doctor and generally a good guy, but the whole hospital knows he only sleeps with people who don’t expect him to call back. So if you just want to tap that, go for it. But if you’re looking for more, you better look somewhere else.”

More? Ryan liked David well enough, and he could admit to himself that he was attracted to the guy, but more?

“I was just resting my eyes,” Ryan said firmly.

Pam reached over his computer screen and patted his head. “Absolutely.”

—

“Did you remember the chili?” David asked through the intercom. He didn’t even have to look up to know Ryan was throwing his hands up in resignation. The kid’s reflection disappeared from the operating room observation window and David grinned to himself.

“You ought to be nicer to him,” Andy murmured, his focus on the open chest beneath his hands.

“I’m plenty nice. I share all my food with him.”

“I know your taste in food, not sure I’d count that as nice.” Andy shifted slightly to the right so David had a better view of the lungs. “I’m just saying…I know how hard it is to have a crush on someone and have her treat you like a serving boy.”

David glanced up. “First, did you have a crush on Dr. Jordan? And second, Ryan doesn’t have a crush on me.”

“No, and that’s not what Pam said. Clamp.”

A nurse placed the tool into Andy’s outstretched hand. David watched as the offending lung tumor was neatly excised.

“What exactly did Pam say?” he murmured. He couldn’t help the hopeful feeling rising in his chest. He hadn’t wanted to assume Ryan could swing his way, but if he did…that could be a game changer.

“Just that Ryan seems to have a crush on you. But I mean, who doesn’t?” Andy teased. “She also said I’d have to kick your ass if you tried anything. But I think you’re actually bigger than I am, so I’ll settle for giving you a very stern warning.”

“I’m already shaking in my scrubs,” David said dryly. A movement in his peripherals caught his attention, and David looked towards the windows. Ryan was back. He lifted a white paper bag and pointed to it emphatically.

Chili. David smiled to himself and hoped the surgery would wrap up soon. He had a lot of things to think about - first and foremost, how he could now tackle his problem with Ryan.

—

It had been one of those days, where everything was chaotic and stressful with no happy endings for anyone. Ryan knew, of course, that sometimes their patients died. They could do everything right and go the distance, and still they couldn’t save everyone. He just really hated having it happen on his watch.

Once the shift was over, he decided to get some air on the roof. He was halfway up when he ran into Miranda on her way down. She gave him a tired nod.

“It’s freezing up there,” she warned, continuing on without waiting for a reply.

Ryan tugged down the sleeves of his hoodie. He ran into Andy at the door to the roof.

“Hey, Dr. Yablonski.”

“Hey.” Andy gave him a wan smile and squeezed his shoulder. “Don’t stay too late, okay? Go home and get some rest.”

That was Andy, always looking out for others. Ryan nodded.

“Thanks. You too.”

Andy sighed and left. Then Ryan stepped out onto the roof - he shivered, it really was freezing - and there was David, sitting hunched over against the glass and metal guardrails. A cooler was open next to him.

“Yo.”

Ryan hesitated, then shook his head and walked over. His attraction to the doctor was something he could handle; in the meantime they were still friends, and David had taken today harder than the others. Ryan sat down next to David and accepted the beer he was handed.

“Alcohol’s not allowed on hospital grounds,” he mumbled. It didn’t stop him from popping the cap and taking a long pull from the bottle.

“We’ve all done worse at one time or another.” David shrugged.

They lapsed into silence. Ryan knew David was probably going over the day minute by minute, trying to pinpoint where it all went wrong. What should have been done. What more could have been done.

But the truth was, sometimes shit just happened. That probably wouldn’t make David feel any better though. Ryan found himself wondering if there was anything he could say to make David feel better and was surprised by how much he wanted to make the other man feel better.

“Days like today,” David said suddenly, “make you wish you were back in the news room, huh?”

“Yeah.” Ryan nodded slowly. “Yeah, a little bit.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re here.” And that was all the warning he got before David leaned over and kissed him.

It was unexpected but definitely not unwelcome. David’s lips were chilly and slightly chapped, but his breath was warm. Ryan sort of melted into the kiss before he knew what he was doing. Vaguely, he registered David’s large hand press against his waist. He parted his lips slightly, wondering if (hoping?) David would take advantage. He felt David’s tongue gently trace the outer curve of his lower lip, and that somehow restarted his brain function.

Ryan pulled back, eyes wide. “Uh…”

David’s cheeks were red from the cold, and maybe more, Ryan thought. But the doctor’s gaze was calm.

“Andy let it slip that you were interested. But if you’re not, I apologize and we can just forget about this.”

“No, I am,” Ryan blurted out. He felt his face warm - he really did donate his foot to his mouth way too often. “I mean, I am, but not in the way you’re thinking, maybe? It’s just, I am interested, but I don’t want to be just a sleepover because I’m not really into that. And because I like you. I mean of course I like you, but I think I might like you, like you, and I know that you’re not looking for anything permanent - not that I think we’re gonna be permanent or anything, but we should probably be on the same page, so, um…”

He was babbling and so help him, he could not stop. Thankfully, David cut him off.

“You want to date,” David hazarded, his mouth quirking in a small smile.

“Yeah,” Ryan sighed. He shrugged helplessly. “And you don’t do that.”

“I could do that.”

Ryan looked up, surprised. “You…could?”

In the year that he’d known David, he had never seen the doctor take home anyone more than twice. The only person who seemed to hold David’s attention was Miranda, but that was more of an ongoing game the two played to pass the time than anything serious. David was non-discriminate and generous with his affections, and while he broke no hearts, he made no promises either.

“Ryan, I’m pretty sure I’ve told you about the importance of communication. You have to use your words.”

“You didn’t,” Ryan accused. “There was definitely a distinct lack of words before you kissed me.”

“I didn’t know if you were into guys. I found out you might be, I took a chance.” David’s smile softened. “And now we’re having a very important conversation. You want to date. I’m down. And since we already know each other pretty well, we can jump straight to making out, right?”

“But…”

“…no making out?”

“No! I mean yes, I mean.” Ryan paused, taking a deep breath. Words, he had them, he could use them. “You don’t date, but you’re okay with dating me. Why?”

“I think you’ll be worth my time,” David said simply. “Don’t prove me wrong.”

“Oh. Well, okay.” David thought he was worth it. Ryan ducked his head, warmed through to his core.

“So…making out?”

Ryan grinned and pulled David against him. He was going to get a jump start on proving just how worth it he was.