[identity profile] annapeace.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] kirei_dakara
Title: Steve Doesn't Belong (Until He Does)
Rating: G
Characters: movie!Avengers
Summary: Well, the title pretty much says it all.
A/N: SO MANY FEELS I CAN'T EVEN THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS I GUESS.

-

Steve has always been out of place. First it’s with a body that can’t keep up with him.

“Heart like a lion,” Bucky would say, clapping him on the back. “Body of a baby deer.”

Then his body catches up with him, but no one else can.

He looks around and realizes that everyone is keeping slightly back. Most of the people are in awe of him, they respect him and some even fear him, but no one wants to be near him. Everyone stands with Captain America, but not with Captain America, and that is the burden of being the result of a scientific experiment. That is the burden of leadership.

Then he’s frozen in an iceberg.

And really, how many people can claim that?

Then he wakes up and everyone he knows and loves is gone.

He remembers when Bucky fell, so the fact that his best friend isn’t here anymore doesn’t shock him. Not that it doesn’t still hurt. Losing Bucky was a crushing blow and the wound’s still fresh and bleeding. Combine that with suddenly finding out his date’s been permanently canceled, all of his army buddies are grandparents – if they’re still alive at all – and oh, by the way the war’s like, been over, you really need to cool it with the whole duty and patriotism thing that’s so two thousand and late (whatever that means), and you can see why Steve has trouble sleeping at night.

Steve finds out that there’s a difference between not needing sleep and not being able to sleep. One’s a choice, the other’s torture.

At night he lies in bed and pictures all the things that would have happened, could have happened, should have happened. He misses his friends desperately, misses having a purpose desperately. Because what is he supposed to do now? He’s twenty-five going on ninety and all his skills are outdated. And he wishes he has someone to talk to, but Captain America is always alone. So he goes to the gym alone and decimates a few punching bags. At least those things haven’t changed.

Then he finds out Howard Stark had a son.

Steve wants so, so much to like Tony, but his first impression of the guy really isn’t a good one. Stark comes blazing in with a million guns and his own soundtrack, who does that? (Well, Howard might have done.) Working with Stark is insanely frustrating and has Steve constantly wishing Bucky were here. But then, when push comes to shove, he and Tony start to click. And Steve thinks, hopes, maybe he and Tony can be friends after all. Maybe even brothers.

They kill a bunch of aliens and save the world. Steve goes from having no place to too many.

Clint and Natasha make it clear that there will always be a room for him at SHIELD headquarters. Tony says he’s welcome to come hang out anytime (whatever ‘hang out’ means). Dr. Banner quietly tells him it means “to visit and have a good time” and tells Steve he should because Bruce wouldn’t mind staying in touch either. Thor makes some proclamation about joining him in Asgard for some rabblerousing, and wouldn’t that be something? Traveling to another world! But Steve decides he just wants to travel around his own world for a bit. See the world he’s helped save. See if he can still be a part of it.

Fury reminds him to keep in touch. He hands Steve a dinky little thing and tells him it’s a phone. Steve looks at it skeptically.

“It’s pre-programmed with all the numbers you’ll need. Read the manual, figure out how to use it. You don’t get to fall off the grid, Captain. I don’t care that you can’t fly or break buildings or shoot lasers out your eyes, you’re the best damn team leader there is. We will have need of you.”

Steve thinks he’s okay with this. He pockets the phone. “Yes, sir.”

Things are starting to look up.
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The Passions We Ache For

September 2016

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