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kirei_dakara2012-05-12 11:10 pm
annapeace.livejournal.com) wrote in kirei_dakara2012-05-12 11:10 pm
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Title: Life after Loki
Rating: G
Characters: movie!Avengers, Loki
Summary: Five men who caught Natasha and one she can't let go of.
--
5 men who caught Natasha and 1 she can’t let go of
Once upon a time, Natasha might have considered Loki her patron god. Now, she knows better. Loki is nothing more than a very annoying, albeit very good, trickster.
Nick Fury congratulates her later, commending her on manipulating Loki into revealing his plans when they had him locked on the helicarrier. She has bested the demi-god of deception and lies. But Natasha knows that isn’t exactly what happened.
You don’t trick the trickster. She had gotten what she wanted from him in the end, but not before he’d gotten to her first. Not before he’d flayed her open and rummaged through her darkest secrets. It was the first time she’d baited a trap with truth; her only lie was pretending to be unaffected by his words.
So yes, she has beaten Loki at his own game. But it doesn’t really feel like she’s won.
--
When she wakes up from her third nightmare of the night, Natasha gives up on sleeping and slips quietly into the armory. She inventories her weapons and lays out a few for cleaning.
A stir in the air behind her alerts her to another’s presence. It’s Clint, she can tell without turning around. It’s not that no one else can ever get the drop on her, but he’s the only one who can sneak up on her without making her hackles rise.
“Can’t sleep?” His voice is soft, dry and tired. Like he’s been up with nightmares too.
Natasha shrugs. “I’ve never had a liability before. I’ve found it scares me.”
Clint is silent. Then he whispers, “I’m sorry.”
She turns slightly, just enough to look him in the eye. When he tries to look away, she reaches up with one hand and holds his face towards hers.
“I don’t mind being scared. I’ll get over it. You’re a liability to me, Clint, but one I can’t do without.”
“Nat.” He sounds rough, almost choked up, so she pulls him close and wraps her arms around him. Clint hesitates for a second before giving in and clinging to her just as tightly. “I keep thinking I’ll betray you all again, that you can’t trust me.”
Natasha presses her face against his chest and breathes deep. “Clint. If you can’t trust yourself, trust me.”
It’s the stupidest thing she’s ever said because she’s the Black Widow and to trust her would be to court death. But she means her words with every fiber of her being. And Clint seems to get it. Neither of them lets go for a while.
--
It takes some convincing before Steve will spar with her. He has this notion that she’s delicate somehow, and although he’s seen her tossed around in battle and has thrown her himself a few times, Steve hesitates to meet her on the gym floor.
Natasha takes matters into her own hands and simply invades his space while he’s working over a punching bag.
“Come on, Cap, let’s go a few rounds.”
It’s not that she’s desperate to prove herself to him. Natasha already knows Steve trusts her to hold her own in a fight. It’s just that Steve has been so quiet lately. He keeps to his rooms, and on the occasions that she sees him around the ship she sees him with eyes rimmed red. He’s upset, and while she could talk it out of him – she’s very good at that – it seems wrong to do that to Steve.
She’s developed a sort of conscience. It’s disconcerting.
So she fights with him instead. No words, just letting him pit his strength and agility against all her dirty tricks. Steve doesn’t go all out, he doesn’t need to, but she can tell she’s close to giving him a run for his money. Towards the end he’s actually breathing hard, and he’s grinning as he flips her over. Natasha manages to hook an ankle around his neck and they both go crashing to the mats.
Of course, Steve recovers first and offers her a hand up. Natasha graciously takes it.
“Ma’am.” He tips his head towards her. “That was…”
“Anytime,” she says seriously. “Clint’s happy to spar with you too, and he knows more acrobatics than I do. And if you ever feel like denting Iron Man a little bit, I can call up Stark. I’m sure he’ll come.”
She wipes the sweat off her brow and watches Steve from the corner of her eye. He has the look that men get when they’re emotionally compromised but don’t want to show it.
“I know it’s been hard. You’ve lost a lot in what’s been a very short time for you. But you don’t have to go through it alone, Cap. Not all of it. Because we’ve all been there, in one way or another.”
Slowly, Steve lets out a long breath. “Thank you…Natasha.”
He gives her a small smile, brave and hopeful, and Natasha admits that she’s fallen prey to his charm because at the moment all she can think of is how to preserve his impossibly good heart and kind soul. Impulsively, she leans in and kisses him on the cheek.
Steve’s wide-eyed look of surprise and delight reaffirm her decision to help him. Natasha pats him on the arm.
“Tomorrow morning,” she tells him. “Bring your shield. I’ll bring Hawkeye.”
“I look forward to it.”
--
Tony Stark catches her in his kitchen early one morning. She would have ducked out the minute she caught sight of him rounding the doorway, but she’d just come from a mission and felt miserably exhausted.
“You know,” he quips while pouring himself a cup of coffee, “most house guests let their hosts know when they decide to stay for an extended visit. Steve asked me, and at least Barton informs Jarvis of his whereabouts.”
Natasha slumps further on the kitchen stool and meets Tony’s gaze levelly. “Would you prefer I returned to the helicarrier then?”
“I would prefer you use the front door and stop bypassing my security measures. Pepper’s getting very frustrated.” Tony throws himself onto the stool next to her and drinks his coffee with gusto. It’s always decisive action with him, Natasha thinks. He doesn’t have a ‘mellow out’ switch. She wonders if he should be drinking that much coffee.
“You’ve already appropriated the rooms on the 20th floor as your own. Just start using the keys, Natalie.” Tony grins. “Hmm, are you hungry? Because I’m starving. I could really go for an omelet right now.”
Natasha slowly lowers her head until her forehead rests on the kitchen counter. Tony laughs, claps her on the back and bounds towards the stove.
“Jarvis! Prep some eggs, olives, ham, bacon, tomato, avocado…you don’t have any food allergies, do you, Agent Romanov? Jarvis, do we have any of that jalapeno cheddar left?”
She could go back to the carrier. It’s always quiet on the carrier. Or she could sneak off and let Tony think she’s not taking up residence at Stark Tower. Except here is Tony Stark trying in his own brash, domineering, flippant way to take care of her. And while she may regret it later, right now it feels kind of nice to sit and be taken care of.
“Pancakes?” she queries.
“We can do pancakes,” Tony says confidently. “Jarvis?”
“Accessing the ingredients now, sir. Would you prefer I make your omelet egg whites only? Your cholesterol levels lately…”
--
When Thor gets back from Asgard, they go drinking. Well, not Bruce because alcohol has an adverse affect on him. And Steve leaves after the first round as alcohol does nothing for him. But the rest of them, they – in Thor’s words – make their ancestors proud.
Tony’s commandeered the small stage at the bar and has gathered a group of admirers. Natasha thinks he’s rigging up a karaoke machine. Clint is perched at the end of the bar, staring at the remains of his drink with a single-minded intensity that means he is totally and completely trashed. Natasha’s at her limit, but she downs another shot anyway and slinks back to their table where Thor is throwing back Jaeger bombs like it’s going out of style.
Their tab has to be a couple thousand by now. Tony can pay that easily, of course, but Natasha is sure he’ll try to bill it to S.H.I.E.L.D. first, just to see Fury’s reaction. He could file it under ‘team building exercises.’
She misses a step and nearly crashes into the table but for Thor, who manages to reach out and grab her arm in time to steady her. A slow smile curves Natasha’s lips, she can’t remember the last time she let herself get this drunk. She can’t remember the last time she had teammates she trusted enough to get this drunk around.
“Lady Natasha!” Thor booms. He crushes her against his side and to Natasha’s credit, she only sighs and lets him crush her for a bit. “Join me for another drink. Your human libations are very creative and tasty.”
She slides out of his grasp and sits in the chair next to him. “Why not?” She picks up one of the glasses littering the table and holds it up. Thor does the same.
“To Phil, son of Coul,” Thor decides, and Natasha sobers for a moment.
“To Phil,” she agrees. Then he smashes his glass to hers and they drink.
“Hey, hey.” Clint appears and tugs absently on her arm. “Look. I think Stark’s gonna sing.”
Clint’s blinking owlishly at the stage where Tony has indeed dug out a microphone from somewhere.
“Tell me you can still work your phone, because I can’t,” she says.
Clint grins and pulls his phone from his pocket. “Yeah, I got this. Pepper’s going to kill him.”
As the music starts, Thor turns to Natasha and says very seriously, “I have missed you all, my friends.” He presses a kiss to her forehead and Natasha knows Thor’s definitely had one too many.
“Come! Let us sing with friend Stark!”
--
Natasha knows that Fury thought she had it in her to calm the savage beast. That if Bruce Banner started to lose it, she’d be able to talk him down. That’s why she’d been assigned to collect him.
Fury hadn’t reckoned with her intense terror of the Hulk. Natasha was all about control, about surgical precision and strategic strikes, and none of that applied to the Hulk. Still, she’d done her job, and now she doesn’t have to associate with the Hulk if she doesn’t want to.
And she doesn’t want to. Except she kind of likes Bruce Banner. There’s something about him – he’s so self-effacing and tired and haunted and brilliant – that makes her want to get closer to him. But, there’s that impenetrable, havoc-causing wrecking ball that is the Hulk, and the Hulk doesn’t seem to like her at all.
It isn’t fair. The Hulk will follow orders from Captain America. He’ll protect Iron Man. He’ll fight alongside Thor. Natasha isn’t one hundred percent certain that the Hulk likes Hawkeye, but she’s heard him mutter something that sounds suspiciously like “funny birdy” more than once when regarding the archer, and she gathers the Hulk thinks of Hawkeye as some sort of entertaining companion.
“Maybe he doesn’t like women,” Clint suggests, causing Natasha to frown. “Or maybe he doesn’t like that you keep all your emotions buttoned down. The rest of us mostly wear our hearts on our sleeves. But you…”
“But that’s just who I am,” Natasha says.
Their next mission, Natasha gets flung off the top of a building. It’s a tall building. She has time to consider and reject three plans of action when the Hulk inserts himself as the fourth plan and plucks her out of the air. He sets her down none-too-gently on the pavement and barrels off before she’s fully absorbed what’s happened. So when the mission is finished, Natasha goes looking for Bruce.
He is haggard and exhausted but greets her with a smile. “I’m glad you didn’t get hurt today.”
“Because you saved me.”
“Yes, well…” He shrugs and shifts his weight awkwardly. Natasha steps forward until she’s in his space and he looks up to meet her gaze.
“It’s okay if the other guy doesn’t like me, Dr. Banner. I’m not his biggest fan either. But I would like to know if you like me.”
Bruce’s answer is to reach up and brush her hair from her face. It’s a tentative, tender gesture and Natasha’s breath catches in her throat.
“I like you quite a bit, Agent Romanov. As for the other guy…I think he’s warming up to you.”
“Well, good,” she says, and closes the last bit of space between them to kiss him. Her heart is going a million miles a minute and she can feel the way he so carefully rests his hands on her, and damn what the giant green guy feels, Natasha is going to find a way to make this work because there is no way she’s going to let go of Bruce now.
Rating: G
Characters: movie!Avengers, Loki
Summary: Five men who caught Natasha and one she can't let go of.
--
5 men who caught Natasha and 1 she can’t let go of
Once upon a time, Natasha might have considered Loki her patron god. Now, she knows better. Loki is nothing more than a very annoying, albeit very good, trickster.
Nick Fury congratulates her later, commending her on manipulating Loki into revealing his plans when they had him locked on the helicarrier. She has bested the demi-god of deception and lies. But Natasha knows that isn’t exactly what happened.
You don’t trick the trickster. She had gotten what she wanted from him in the end, but not before he’d gotten to her first. Not before he’d flayed her open and rummaged through her darkest secrets. It was the first time she’d baited a trap with truth; her only lie was pretending to be unaffected by his words.
So yes, she has beaten Loki at his own game. But it doesn’t really feel like she’s won.
--
When she wakes up from her third nightmare of the night, Natasha gives up on sleeping and slips quietly into the armory. She inventories her weapons and lays out a few for cleaning.
A stir in the air behind her alerts her to another’s presence. It’s Clint, she can tell without turning around. It’s not that no one else can ever get the drop on her, but he’s the only one who can sneak up on her without making her hackles rise.
“Can’t sleep?” His voice is soft, dry and tired. Like he’s been up with nightmares too.
Natasha shrugs. “I’ve never had a liability before. I’ve found it scares me.”
Clint is silent. Then he whispers, “I’m sorry.”
She turns slightly, just enough to look him in the eye. When he tries to look away, she reaches up with one hand and holds his face towards hers.
“I don’t mind being scared. I’ll get over it. You’re a liability to me, Clint, but one I can’t do without.”
“Nat.” He sounds rough, almost choked up, so she pulls him close and wraps her arms around him. Clint hesitates for a second before giving in and clinging to her just as tightly. “I keep thinking I’ll betray you all again, that you can’t trust me.”
Natasha presses her face against his chest and breathes deep. “Clint. If you can’t trust yourself, trust me.”
It’s the stupidest thing she’s ever said because she’s the Black Widow and to trust her would be to court death. But she means her words with every fiber of her being. And Clint seems to get it. Neither of them lets go for a while.
--
It takes some convincing before Steve will spar with her. He has this notion that she’s delicate somehow, and although he’s seen her tossed around in battle and has thrown her himself a few times, Steve hesitates to meet her on the gym floor.
Natasha takes matters into her own hands and simply invades his space while he’s working over a punching bag.
“Come on, Cap, let’s go a few rounds.”
It’s not that she’s desperate to prove herself to him. Natasha already knows Steve trusts her to hold her own in a fight. It’s just that Steve has been so quiet lately. He keeps to his rooms, and on the occasions that she sees him around the ship she sees him with eyes rimmed red. He’s upset, and while she could talk it out of him – she’s very good at that – it seems wrong to do that to Steve.
She’s developed a sort of conscience. It’s disconcerting.
So she fights with him instead. No words, just letting him pit his strength and agility against all her dirty tricks. Steve doesn’t go all out, he doesn’t need to, but she can tell she’s close to giving him a run for his money. Towards the end he’s actually breathing hard, and he’s grinning as he flips her over. Natasha manages to hook an ankle around his neck and they both go crashing to the mats.
Of course, Steve recovers first and offers her a hand up. Natasha graciously takes it.
“Ma’am.” He tips his head towards her. “That was…”
“Anytime,” she says seriously. “Clint’s happy to spar with you too, and he knows more acrobatics than I do. And if you ever feel like denting Iron Man a little bit, I can call up Stark. I’m sure he’ll come.”
She wipes the sweat off her brow and watches Steve from the corner of her eye. He has the look that men get when they’re emotionally compromised but don’t want to show it.
“I know it’s been hard. You’ve lost a lot in what’s been a very short time for you. But you don’t have to go through it alone, Cap. Not all of it. Because we’ve all been there, in one way or another.”
Slowly, Steve lets out a long breath. “Thank you…Natasha.”
He gives her a small smile, brave and hopeful, and Natasha admits that she’s fallen prey to his charm because at the moment all she can think of is how to preserve his impossibly good heart and kind soul. Impulsively, she leans in and kisses him on the cheek.
Steve’s wide-eyed look of surprise and delight reaffirm her decision to help him. Natasha pats him on the arm.
“Tomorrow morning,” she tells him. “Bring your shield. I’ll bring Hawkeye.”
“I look forward to it.”
--
Tony Stark catches her in his kitchen early one morning. She would have ducked out the minute she caught sight of him rounding the doorway, but she’d just come from a mission and felt miserably exhausted.
“You know,” he quips while pouring himself a cup of coffee, “most house guests let their hosts know when they decide to stay for an extended visit. Steve asked me, and at least Barton informs Jarvis of his whereabouts.”
Natasha slumps further on the kitchen stool and meets Tony’s gaze levelly. “Would you prefer I returned to the helicarrier then?”
“I would prefer you use the front door and stop bypassing my security measures. Pepper’s getting very frustrated.” Tony throws himself onto the stool next to her and drinks his coffee with gusto. It’s always decisive action with him, Natasha thinks. He doesn’t have a ‘mellow out’ switch. She wonders if he should be drinking that much coffee.
“You’ve already appropriated the rooms on the 20th floor as your own. Just start using the keys, Natalie.” Tony grins. “Hmm, are you hungry? Because I’m starving. I could really go for an omelet right now.”
Natasha slowly lowers her head until her forehead rests on the kitchen counter. Tony laughs, claps her on the back and bounds towards the stove.
“Jarvis! Prep some eggs, olives, ham, bacon, tomato, avocado…you don’t have any food allergies, do you, Agent Romanov? Jarvis, do we have any of that jalapeno cheddar left?”
She could go back to the carrier. It’s always quiet on the carrier. Or she could sneak off and let Tony think she’s not taking up residence at Stark Tower. Except here is Tony Stark trying in his own brash, domineering, flippant way to take care of her. And while she may regret it later, right now it feels kind of nice to sit and be taken care of.
“Pancakes?” she queries.
“We can do pancakes,” Tony says confidently. “Jarvis?”
“Accessing the ingredients now, sir. Would you prefer I make your omelet egg whites only? Your cholesterol levels lately…”
--
When Thor gets back from Asgard, they go drinking. Well, not Bruce because alcohol has an adverse affect on him. And Steve leaves after the first round as alcohol does nothing for him. But the rest of them, they – in Thor’s words – make their ancestors proud.
Tony’s commandeered the small stage at the bar and has gathered a group of admirers. Natasha thinks he’s rigging up a karaoke machine. Clint is perched at the end of the bar, staring at the remains of his drink with a single-minded intensity that means he is totally and completely trashed. Natasha’s at her limit, but she downs another shot anyway and slinks back to their table where Thor is throwing back Jaeger bombs like it’s going out of style.
Their tab has to be a couple thousand by now. Tony can pay that easily, of course, but Natasha is sure he’ll try to bill it to S.H.I.E.L.D. first, just to see Fury’s reaction. He could file it under ‘team building exercises.’
She misses a step and nearly crashes into the table but for Thor, who manages to reach out and grab her arm in time to steady her. A slow smile curves Natasha’s lips, she can’t remember the last time she let herself get this drunk. She can’t remember the last time she had teammates she trusted enough to get this drunk around.
“Lady Natasha!” Thor booms. He crushes her against his side and to Natasha’s credit, she only sighs and lets him crush her for a bit. “Join me for another drink. Your human libations are very creative and tasty.”
She slides out of his grasp and sits in the chair next to him. “Why not?” She picks up one of the glasses littering the table and holds it up. Thor does the same.
“To Phil, son of Coul,” Thor decides, and Natasha sobers for a moment.
“To Phil,” she agrees. Then he smashes his glass to hers and they drink.
“Hey, hey.” Clint appears and tugs absently on her arm. “Look. I think Stark’s gonna sing.”
Clint’s blinking owlishly at the stage where Tony has indeed dug out a microphone from somewhere.
“Tell me you can still work your phone, because I can’t,” she says.
Clint grins and pulls his phone from his pocket. “Yeah, I got this. Pepper’s going to kill him.”
As the music starts, Thor turns to Natasha and says very seriously, “I have missed you all, my friends.” He presses a kiss to her forehead and Natasha knows Thor’s definitely had one too many.
“Come! Let us sing with friend Stark!”
--
Natasha knows that Fury thought she had it in her to calm the savage beast. That if Bruce Banner started to lose it, she’d be able to talk him down. That’s why she’d been assigned to collect him.
Fury hadn’t reckoned with her intense terror of the Hulk. Natasha was all about control, about surgical precision and strategic strikes, and none of that applied to the Hulk. Still, she’d done her job, and now she doesn’t have to associate with the Hulk if she doesn’t want to.
And she doesn’t want to. Except she kind of likes Bruce Banner. There’s something about him – he’s so self-effacing and tired and haunted and brilliant – that makes her want to get closer to him. But, there’s that impenetrable, havoc-causing wrecking ball that is the Hulk, and the Hulk doesn’t seem to like her at all.
It isn’t fair. The Hulk will follow orders from Captain America. He’ll protect Iron Man. He’ll fight alongside Thor. Natasha isn’t one hundred percent certain that the Hulk likes Hawkeye, but she’s heard him mutter something that sounds suspiciously like “funny birdy” more than once when regarding the archer, and she gathers the Hulk thinks of Hawkeye as some sort of entertaining companion.
“Maybe he doesn’t like women,” Clint suggests, causing Natasha to frown. “Or maybe he doesn’t like that you keep all your emotions buttoned down. The rest of us mostly wear our hearts on our sleeves. But you…”
“But that’s just who I am,” Natasha says.
Their next mission, Natasha gets flung off the top of a building. It’s a tall building. She has time to consider and reject three plans of action when the Hulk inserts himself as the fourth plan and plucks her out of the air. He sets her down none-too-gently on the pavement and barrels off before she’s fully absorbed what’s happened. So when the mission is finished, Natasha goes looking for Bruce.
He is haggard and exhausted but greets her with a smile. “I’m glad you didn’t get hurt today.”
“Because you saved me.”
“Yes, well…” He shrugs and shifts his weight awkwardly. Natasha steps forward until she’s in his space and he looks up to meet her gaze.
“It’s okay if the other guy doesn’t like me, Dr. Banner. I’m not his biggest fan either. But I would like to know if you like me.”
Bruce’s answer is to reach up and brush her hair from her face. It’s a tentative, tender gesture and Natasha’s breath catches in her throat.
“I like you quite a bit, Agent Romanov. As for the other guy…I think he’s warming up to you.”
“Well, good,” she says, and closes the last bit of space between them to kiss him. Her heart is going a million miles a minute and she can feel the way he so carefully rests his hands on her, and damn what the giant green guy feels, Natasha is going to find a way to make this work because there is no way she’s going to let go of Bruce now.